Aaron's Place

Soo! It has definitely been a while since I have wrote anything on here. Schools a month and a week in so far. Things are going pretty good. Except K big change from grade 10 to 11. Lol I got quite the hefty semester but I’m gonna get through it. I really have to focus on my work though. Basketball has started also. Oh man it’s gonna be an interesting year. I really have to get in shape too for the constant basketball playing I will be playing. I’m really looking for someone who will play me one on one whenever., like tomorrow or something. I usually go on Sundays but I was busy today.

I don’t have much to say about how I feel really. I just feel that I have to sharpen up and focus. Like I haven’t been in school for like..almost a year and a half lol so. It’s just a different way of doing things, then how I used to do shit last year but meh. I’m adjusting slowly and getting used to this whole semester thing.

For those wondering, I should be moving in my new house finally..this month sometime. We’ve told our renter that we are moving out this month..and my mom wrote a letter and all that so we’re definitely getting outta hurr..and into thurr. Lol I can’t wait to move into that house. I don’t think I will be having a big party..atleast not for a while because of the cold weather, but I may have a few people over to check out the house. If you are interested and you want to check it out..anytime..just let me know. Lol I’ll take you up for a tour and everything..

But yeh, that’s about it. The next few months should be pretty interesting, lol I’ll be updating this sometime in the next month so..

Pace and good health

Aaron

When it comes to any event which ulters the mere constant routine of our daily lives, we are more then less shattered and lost. The routine which kept us in sync and basically walking the line straight. Anything that can effect a humans behaviour is able to make or break us. People for instance. As kids we've learned to grow up and create friends. Why? To bond and share interests. As time went on things get a little more complicated and we rely on these friends for more serious things. It's funny how easy life was as a child, not complicated at all and you always had someone there watching over you. I'm not saying that everyones childhood was easy, but probably a lot easier then now. Some of the things we didn't need to pay attention too back then, we really have to watch over now. Every decision we make and every opinion given is a lot more complicated.

We all need someone to watch over us. Lives are too busy for some people to really watch their own self. We are at an age where this is common. Now we must imbrace the fact that we may have someone that watches over us or just makes sure nothing wrong happens. But most of us are ungrateful of this and don't realise how much that person means to them. What happens when you loose that person? You are lost and unable to maintain what life you had before. Unless you adapt which at a teenagers life is hard with everything that is going on. You almost have to rebuild or take the hit hoping you don't fall too hard.

As we get older, we mature and become more independant. We learn through trial and error how to maintain everything we possess. But at this age we are not mature enough or strong enough to rely on ourselves. So be grateful for those around you. Think of the ones or one that has been there for you. They can be the least expected. Just someone who would sit and listen to you and possibly give their opinion in hope of helping your situation. Whatever you do, do not lose that person or persons who tried to make things right for you. Be grateful for those people.

Pace and good health

Aaron Allan

So a little recap on, what has been going on in my life lately. No, I am not writing this to bitch or make any of you reading this feel like I am trying to get attention. Whatever your opinion is, is the reason why. Many of you know I am suffering from a mental disorder called Generalised Anxiety Disorder or GAD for short. Cept, as I take my pill everyday, I think everytime. "What if it's a wrong diagnosis?" Since well, all the other few conclusions turned out to be wrong and all the medication taken useless. But, this medication has done something? Or has it. When I first started on it, I was beginning to move into the house I live in now. And well not being at school and at home basically made my dad figure he could use me. So fight after fight finally I was out with him, driving back and forth through town. This medication was not supposed to work until a week or two later. But there I was, out of the house and moving stuff. A month or two prior I wasn't able to leave the house due to stress and anxiety. Kinda odd, we all search for the reassurance, just to know everything is going alright and everything will be okay. At the time I was 15 and diagnosed myself for christ sakes.

I am 16 now. I got my G1 lastweek. Passed with flying colours. Here I am now, questioning and wondering some of the things that I totally rely on for my future. Why, because where is my reassurance? I have doctors and all these officials telling me what to do, but have they even asked me about alternate diagnosis. I have even told them that the medication has levelled off. I have learned how to deal with problems and if someone is in a situation where they are angry or sad, I know how to deal with it. I can only cope so much. Tonight I lied in my bed and just thought how things would be if..The brief descriptive words in my head are simply "FUCK!" over and over again. Why..well I like to think I have fucked up something so great. I have lost more in two years then I have lost in my life basically. Friends, health, and "normal" life. I go against everything I basically tell you not to do. I think too much and spend too much time up in the clouds.

On my birthday I received an e-mail from a friend. She kept her word on doing something for my birthday. I appreciate it a lot too. She stated that I am like a lot of peoples guardian angel. Watching over them and the things they do, just to make sure they get the best out of life. I am not really sure where I am going with this, but I found it very interesting. I guess it's a thing to consider when you stop and think about who watches over you, since well we all wouldn't be here without them. In my case, I guess I just lost mine suddenly and just needed to find them again.

But anyway, things will get better, they always do. I give everyone the best of luck in their travels. Please, if your going to drink or do drugs, understand the limits. Don't drink and drive. And put a smile on. I'm outtie

Pace and good health

Aaron